I saw a BEA press release the other day, and was feeling a bit cheeky tonight, so I threw this together. April is just too far away. 8-)

Press Release

BEA embraces the Web for integration
Friday April 1, 2005 6:00 am ET
Regrets role in Web services.  Vows to get down to business to solving
customer integration problems.

SAN JOSE, Calif. -- BEA Systems, Inc., the world's leading application
infrastructure software company, today announced that it was
discontinuing any further support of "Web services", and was announcing
sweeping organizational changes that will better position it to produce
high quality products that enable the creation of services built on the
architectural principles that have made the Web such a success,
including the constraints of the REST architectural style.

"It boggles the mind to realize what a huge mistake had been made with
Web services, and how this awesome integration platform - the Web - was
right under our noses the whole time.", said CTO Scott Dietzen.  "In
retrospect, it's all so obvious, but that's small consolation when you
consider how much time and money we've wasted these past few years".
CEO Alfred Chuang added, "BEA is proud to be the first major application
infrastructure software company to close the book on this dark chapter
of IT history.  We apologize to our existing customers for our role in
this debacle, and look forward to working with them to help put their
services where they belong, on the Web".

The company also announced that David Orchard had accepted the role of
Chief Architect of the newly formed Semantic Web group, whose mission
will be to integrate the W3C's Resource Description Framework into BEA's
products, enabling customers to further simplify data integration tasks.
"That's still XML, right?", Dave was heard to say shortly after learning
of his new assignment.

About BEA

BEA Systems, Inc. is the world's leading application infrastructure
software company, providing the enterprise software foundation for more
than 15,000 customers around the world, including the majority of the
Fortune Global 500. BEA and its WebLogic(R) brand are among the most
trusted names in business.

Headquartered in San Jose, Calif., BEA has 77 offices in 31 countries
and is on the Web at www.bea.com.
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